I have been free from Bureau of Prisons for over three months. Time is moving at a rapid pace and for that I am thankful. I am very anxious to the get past behind me. The concept of re-entering your life as defined by Re-entry organizations and the system is flawed. Honestly, it is very difficult to simply re-enter the life you have been absent from for years. You must consciously make your self aware of the fact that you are beginning a new life. My current life bares little to no resemblance of my past life at all. Emotionally I am not the same. I returned home to a son, who is not the same, my home is not the same, my professional life is not the same and I don’t feel the same. I often feels as though I am living in someone else’s dream. The process of re-entering after incarceration and trauma must be explore extensively. It has much more to do with just finding employment and housing. The emotional and spiritual connectedness is what will assist individuals like myself to remain mindful and tethered to our new lives and our community. I hope for more comprehensive services that will assist individuals with truly having access to a successful second chance, as they walk out of prison and attempt to shed all of the nuances that has to do with being an inmate. There are many of us who do not fit the substance abuse modalities and programming. I often said while I was at the camp that it is no ones fault that we are there but someone with the system has to be accountable for preparing us to return home successfully.
My incarceration has deconstructed all that I was for more than half my life. It’s not a complaint it just simply the truth. Now as I attempt to reinvent myself and search for renewed passion for something, well anything, I just want to remain honest about this process. I want to remain authentic and mindful of how I can or will overcome the inherent and structural barriers that are before me.
I know I am a fortunate one, I had a relatively short sentence and I am now home for lack of a better word. I remember when all I could think about was being home, home, home. So I will always remain cognizant of the fact that there are so many non-violent, low level offending, mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters and grandmothers who remain incarcerated. I won’t forget you! So I am thankful about my new, unrecognizable life. I have a new job that will start in July. Doing something I have never done before. I will be making less than I have made since I graduated from college in the 80’s. But on the other hand it’s more than the 12 cents an hour I was being paid in prison. Life is funny, that is the truth. I am glad I can laugh about it as I move onward. I am thankful I can move on.
My life is not perfect but it is good. I will continue to work towards making it the best life possible. Peace!
The journey continues………………felonious PhD 6/2016
The Felonious PhD. 