Happy New Year bye…I will never forget!

It’s TIME! I will move…

Onward but I will never forget. This will be my last diatribe as THE FELONIOUS PHD on my blog page. But, I will never forget how in 2010 the trajectory of my life was changed forever. I will never forget having my office raided and having the news stations outside my building, as my incredible, Ujima family protected me. I will never forget all of my kids and all the lessons learned from them. I will never forget the Medicaid Fraud unit administrator telling me that, “they did not care what happened to the kids”. I will never forget my despair and merging with my shadow self, in an attempt to remain whole, sane and alive. I will never forget all the people who showed me love, as I maneuver through this process. I will never forget my tough, cigarette smoking public defender, who reminded me that the law is not always about the truth and that I can still be of service to young people in a different capacity once I was free. I will never forget, my almost three hour discovery hearing at the Federal Building, and how happy I was to have it over. I will never forget telling my son that he will have everything he needs while I was gone and he replied in tears, “yeah everything except my mom”.   I will never forget. I will never forget my drive with my friend, Rebecca, to the prison camp. I will never forget being so cold in that prison camp building at night and my bunkie taking three days to crotchet me a blanket. I will never forget the nasty, mean and ignorant people who worked within that system or the ones who had good hearts. I will never forget witnessing just how strong and soulful the human spirit of a woman is, no matter what the circumstances are, at the moment. I will never forget leaving and hearing my name called on the loud speaker as I left the camp. I will never forget being sent to the Tenderloin, drug infested and mice and rat infested Geo Group halfway house. I will never forget, finally being free of Bureau of Prisons on March 5 2016. I will never ever forget that. I will never forget the women that are trapped in a cruel and inhumane, structurally oppressed system, ever. There is so much I will not forget, but I will move on. I will now focus on putting it all in writing for my book. Where I go from here, who knows. For once in my life, I have no clue and I don’t care. and even though that make some people uneasy, I am so good with it. I am forever grateful for this WordPress blogging space, it saved my life.   Life is good. Happy New Year. Peace. 

And this part of my journey is over……..feloniousphd 12/31/2016

From the 👁y👁’s of a butterfly….It’s so hard to say goodbye but it is time!

As I approach the New Year, I have decided that it is time for me to say goodbye to my dear, trusted friend, my blog page, the felonious PhD. Those of you, who know me, understand my need for closure in all aspects of my life.  I have alway operated in the mode that there is a beginning, a middle and an end. And now that I have been home from the Federal Prison Camp for over a year.  With two years of supervised release left, and having already experience how the label felon will impact my life forever. I have realized that like my childhood and other life altering experiences, this is a life long journey.   And it is essential that I mindfully make a paradigm shift, that will propel me successfully to my next.  So I have decided that December 31st, will be my last time posting on http://thefelonioisphd.wordpress.com. I will leave the space active because there are people who are entering the system for the first time and have no point of reference, like I did in 2013, when I started the blog page.  However, for my family and friends, who have become accustomed to my long winded and often overly opinionated diatribes, I will be starting a new blog space called, “Pieces of You”.  So stay tuned. Thanks to those who read my blog and supported me along the way.  It has truly saved and nurtured my soul.  Life is good. Peace. 

And the journey continues……felonious PhD 12/16

Thoughts on Re Entry and Recidivism…Title VII!

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), in its Enforcement Guidance on the Consideration of Arrest and Conviction Records, suggests that excluding job applicants who have criminal records MAY constitute employment discrimination under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act.    The word MAY leaves individuals like myself without protection from discriminatory practices.   It’s hard for me to explain how it feels to have every part of your being be subjected to hate or questioned at some point and time in your life.  I know for a fact that laws and the government, will never fully protect my black, female, lesbian and felon self, so I am prepared and ready to fight for my own survival.

As I continue to muddle my way through my new life, it is imperative that I continue to openly discuss every detail about my journey, the good and the bad. And I don’t do it because I am some crazy lady, who consistently obsesses over losing everything she has worked for, and eventually going to prison. I feel that I must continue to discuss the details of my journey because society is structured in a way that reminds me daily, that I am not wanted, in certain circles and I not privy, to certain privileges and certain entities feel that they have the right to discount me as a productive and proud, American Citizen, because I have been labeled a FELON.

This journey through prison and my daily walk within my own so-called felonious skin, continues to motivate me beyond belief. It forces me to look at life through a lens that I have witnessed from others or often read about and empathized with, but never truly embraced as my own experience in America.

When the scarlet letters of F E L O N can give someone the right to look you in the eye and say, “We don’t want you here and you know you don’t belong here”. Something is incredibly wrong. Not only is it personally hurtful and mean spirited, it is also illegal and discriminatory in my eyes. My former employer, Patagonia, was wrong, and many may wonder why am I making a fuss over a $12.65 an hour job, that structurally disenfranchises not only felons, but minorities also, I say to them, that this is much larger than the $12.65 an hour. It’s more about structural oppression and discrimination and the right to work anywhere and be anywhere, I have the experience to work, despite my past. I am of value. I was when I worked my way out of the ghetto, I was when I was told by my high school counselor I was not college material, I was when I was told to get my nigger self out of an elderly white woman chair, I was when I was baptized at a church affiliated with my college and the congregation did not fully approve, I was when I was stopped by security at a store for stealing after I had purchased four pairs of shoes for my kids, it goes on and on and may even continue until my death. But, like I have stated before, I am prepared for this life. Nothing can or will ever dictate how I live or how I define my being. I am of value and I don’t need anyone’s approval to say so.   But I will speak my truth forever.

I am somebody too! No matter what anyone may feel or think about me, I have the right to be treated humanely and with love. And no one is going to make sure that happens for me, but me.

As usual life is strange, life is full of mysterious twists and turns and I am glad I was born and raised to be who and where I am everyday. Audre Lorde poignantly states, that, “Silence will never protect us”. So I will continue to speak my piece peacefully and lovingly. I will also fight for my right to freedom and liberty and justice like every other American. Life is good.

Peace.

The journey continues…….the felonious phd. 12/2016