The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

From the 👁Y👁S of the butterfly….Strength, Courage and Wisdom!

Tomorrow will be my 52nd birthday, and I will be able to celebrate it as a free woman, well as free as I am going to get!  I can not help but give a shout out to the wonderful, strong and resilient women I met and shared a miserable space with at the Victorville Federal Prison Camp. I never celebrated my birthday at the camp. Many of my friends and I decided that we would surpass the jailhouse pomp and circumstances as our own way of truly saying “fuck the system” lol. Excuse my language but that’s real.  For my birthday I want to give a shout out to my friend,  Derian Eidson and share her story with my blog. Life is good but not perfect, but my grandfather warned me when I was a young girl that it never will be perfect or fair it is just life. Peace!

Derian Eidson

http://www.forbes.com/sites/walterpavlo/2015/06/16/feds-get-aggressive-in-pursuit-of-their-white-collar-criminal-theory-case-of-derian-eidson/#22d2c3041aa0

Love you lady and it is going to be alright!.

Leave a comment »

Writings from the belly of the beast….Part 1-An Eye Witness.

July 7, 2014 – Now I get it! I mean I completely understand the angst that I have endured over my lifetime.  As I sit here at the Federal Prison Camp and hating every moment of it, I am having a very difficult time adhering to the premise that it is easier to just “do the time”.    Being a fighter my entire life has made it difficult for me to just give up or succumb do the negative forces.  I will always fight.

I am clearly fighting my way through this senseless, visceral and inhumane process and environment.  Daily I wake up and climb out of my bunkbed, questioning the entire purpose of incarcerating non violent and low-level offenders.  Other than giving tax payer dollars to the Prison Industrial Complex, there does not seem to be any reason not to utilize the other resources that our system has available to it, other than for money.  It is all about the money that is gained off incarcerated souls.

For the past month at least 80% of the middle-aged, harmless women that have entered the prison camp were incarcerated for obscure and translucent laws and policies that have been placed under the federal guidelines for fraud, wire fraud, mail fraud or conspiracy to commit a fraud.  Honestly anyone can and will be a target if there are no real efforts to critically think about what we are considering a crime.  I know in reality people commit crimes and they do them intentionally.  But this seems to be out of hand and to simply use incarceration as the only model for correcting ones wrongs intentional or not seems to be very barbaric and inhumane.  I know as I sit here in prison none of my concerns may ever matter and the Prison Industrial Complex will continue to profit off human souls, but I will continue until the day I die to speak my own truth in regards to this process.  I may be forever be labelled a felon, but I still even as I sit imprisoned have my rights and freedom of speech.  I truly believe that it is my responsibility to discuss this process with others no matter how embarrassing, or how disheartening, or how traumatic it is for me.  Even if only one person understands and votes or becomes an advocate for real Criminal Justice reform, I will be happy.

But as I sit here at the camp counting down till the day I am home with my family, friends and my son, I can only hope and fight for my own peace of mind.  Although this issue is far from just being about me, I am thankful that I am able to continue to be my loving self.  It is a daily struggle but I have nothing else to do in here, but work on being the best me possible.  I am so excited that I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any given moment.

The journey continues……………………………………..the felonious phd.

 

 

 

 

2 Comments »

Writings from the “belly of the beast”……………. The responsibility of the artist’s soul!

While I was incarcerated I spent a tremendous amount of my time writing and thinking. A dangerous combination in some ways. The wonderful thing about having that empty space, was that I could critically and consciously see the world from a point of view that I could or would have never created on my own. That time in prison assisted me with giving power to my words from the deepest and darkest part of me and in doing so in a consistent manner it also enabled me to compile pages and pages of thoughts in regards to the Criminal Justice System.  I was able to mindfully observe just how incredibly Inhumane our American System has become and how our prisons systems and Government has once again returned to its history of slavery and slave like policies, politics and justifications for treating the most vulnerable human souls with little to no dignity.   The writings from the “Belly Of The Beast”,  will allow me to authentically share those thoughts with the blog as I was living them.  I will share them in no particular order just grab a page and type it in. I am so glad I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any and every given moment Peace.

The journey continues………………………..felonious phd

File_000

 

Leave a comment »

Forever Free Part 1…………..One month free, life is good.

Today marks a month of my being free from the auspices and ridiculousness of the Federal Bureau of Prisons. Even though I remain captive in the Judicial system for another three years on Supervised Release, nothing compares to being free from the belly of the beast. My probation officer has been a pleasant part of this journey. Mainly because every interaction I have had with her up to this point, she has treated me with dignity and respect without skipping a beat to do her job. So I know it is possible for our system and those who work within it to do better. I am witnessing it first hand.

Now I have to complete my 100 hours court ordered community service hours, and try diligently in the conservative town of Reno, Nevada, to secure adequate employment. I know I have a challenge ahead of me, but that is not a new way of being for me. Nothing or no one could ever disrupt my spirit and steal my joy again, so I will continue to push forward lovingly and with purpose. Truly, this is the only way I know how to operate.

These days I ask myself this question, “What do I want?” I ask that question in regards to all aspects of my life. I have decided that Professionally I want to work in the college setting. I love that environment and the energy that young people who are learning and finding their way have. I am not sure if that is possible with my being a felon but that is what I am striving for, and that has always been my long-term goal. Personally, I only want peace and will not allow anyone within my space that does not want the same thing or try to infiltrate my peaceful and loving environment. I am now free to live and build the life that I want and I am not going to miss this opportunity.

This unplanned journey has been so surreal and often foreign to me. I know that only time will move me past the trauma I have personally experienced, and I will continue to remain mindful of everything that I have gone through and overcome so that I can share those experiences with other women whom unfortunately find themselves in the Federal Criminal Justice system. I left several incredible friends behind in the camp and will not forget them either. I want them to know that they are not invisible, alone or unworthy.

There is nothing like being free. Lately I have been trying to organize my many blogs that have not been posted, as I attempt to piece together my life over the past few years. I want to write a book that will clearly tell not just my story but one that will provide a window into the stories of many of the women, mothers, aunts, sisters, daughters and friends that were incarcerated when truthfully there were other options. So for the next year that’s my goal. I will never forget how I felt as an incarcerated soul, so that I will forever live my life FREE! Peace.

The journey continues………………..feloniousphd 4-4-16

image

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

girl with raised hands and broken chains

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERA

image

Leave a comment »