The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

What is Freedom?…2 Days Left!

 

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I always feel free at the ocean.  No, I don’t swim, or surf or anything that entails me getting wet, lol.  At the ocean, I enjoy listening to the powerful waves crash the shore.  I love feeling the ocean breeze pushing against my face and my bald head.  That is when I am reminded, that there is a such thing, as a force of nature.  I respect the power and beauty of the ocean.  At the ocean I am reminded that there are many things that we can not control, but we can and will endure if, and only if, we empower ourselves to tap into the deepest parts of ourselves, the place that harnesses our strength, power and wisdom.  Today, as I am sitting at the ocean, I know that I will never be able to duplicate my yesterday, even the parts that brought me much joy.  However, as I tilt my head back and allow the warmth of sun to grace my face, while witnessing people walk along the shores among the seagulls, at the same time hearing the thunderous sounds of the powerful surfs, I feel free!  I am looking forward to my next.  I am entering it knowing I will forever remain committed to nurturing my own inner peace and joy, first and foremost, always.  Lessons Learned.  Life is good!   Peace.

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What is Freedom?…Three days left!

No, I don’t have the complete answer to that question yet. But best believe I am going to ponder it til the day I die. It is essential for me, that I consciously and critically analyze my life as a so-called free African American Woman in America. Especially, after I have bared witness to the belly of the beast, the Prison Industrial Complex, I feel some kind of way! Lol. I will never ever allow anyone to diminish my trauma by using the old ass saying, “If you don’t want to do the time, don’t do the crime”. Today I am here to say, F that! We have lots of work to do. I keep asking myself, how am

I going to celebrate? Lol. My

thought is I would love to celebrate by having a full time

Professor Gig or access to a full time employment, instead of trying to strategize about how I am now going to earn a living. Three days left! Whew. I can never fully explain how much this experience has impacted my life. I am just so glad that, I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any given moment. That have provided me the strength to rise despite it all. Peace.

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What is Freedom?…..5 more days to go!

I am still trying to formulate my answer to the question of what is freedom? At the same time, everyday, since I heard that my motion for early release from Federal Supervision was approved, I have breathed deeply and thank my ancestors for giving me strength and grace to persevere through this process, whole, sane, and alive. That is the truth. I could never clearly explain how painful and awakening this last eight years of my journey have impacted me as a loving, caring human being. I will never forget my experience as I transformed from a community worker, foster mom, mother, sister, aunt, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Dr. Little, Partner and Friend, to inmate Little. I will never forget the women who I left behind, in that visceral and evil space, especially, Derian Eidson, Bernice Brown and Lonette Williams. I’m five damn days away from being done, being FREE. And it is no longer about guilt or innocence for me, it’s about what is freedom? Are any of us truly Free? That is the question I am going to continue to explore. I thank all my peeps that stood by me. You know who you are. And for those who doubted me and condemned me, hmmmmmm. That’s all I can say. Life is good and in five days, it will be so much better. I will Rise Up like a phoenix proud, bright and full of life and leaving behind burning ashes. I know no other way to operate.

 

Peace.

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