The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

The Absurdity of My Life, Part 5……………….The MisAdventure of the UNI-BOOB!

Today, as I stood in one of the many (welfare-like) lines at the Federal Prison Camp in Victorville California, a woman was discussing with another woman who has a work detail in the commissary (the over priced place we purchase items), how they need to ask for women tank tops instead of always forcing us (women) to purchase the male tank tops. She quickly turned to the other woman and told her that she and the other women, who have details in that space, did ask the CO (correctional officer) in charge about purchasing feminine style tees and they were told that there is no way that would happen.  He boldly informed them that we (women) in our feminine clothing, would be too tempting to the male CO’s.  Once again the subjugation, paternalization, and imprisonment of the female body becomes a major issue for me in this Prison Industrial Complex environment and I am faced with asking my two favorite questions, “What the hell?! and Is this real life?!”.

There are many instances where this system imposes it’s masculine will on the women, who are legally forced to be incarcerated in this unnatural space.  I plan to continue to discuss in detail how the American Justice System has impacted my womanly, motherly, and female identified soul in the future.  But today, I am faced with an urgent challenge that requires my immediate attention, as I plan to transition from the Prison Camp oppressive environment into society.  After 19 months and a tremendous amount of soul searching, I have decided to wait in the long line at commissary and purchase an OVER-PRICED bra in an attempt to transition my current UNI-BOOB from the oppressive BOP issued sports-like bra, that has incarcerated my womanly parts to the extent that they do not know that they are separate entities (lol).  Seriously, I feel it is imperative that as I plan to re-enter society, my family and my life that I also allow my wonderful breasts (plural) the opportunity to exercise their liberties, prior to leaving this ridiculous space (lol).  I am not kidding the suppression of the BOP sports bras make you feel (boobless) and that in itself should be criminal.  This structurally oppressive Prison Industrial Complex has violated the civil rights of my breasts!!!!    Mind you, this complaint is coming from a woman who in the past has frequently worn sports bras without any complaints or hesitation.  I am saying right here and now that, “WHEN I AM FREE, I WILL NEVER WEAR ANOTHER SPORTS BRA AGAIN!”.  So to all of you who are tethered to me, don’t worry when you see me and my breasts are sitting high, proud, and loud and my cleavage is bold and boisterous.  Don’t be alarmed, just be aware that I have not changed, I am simply liberating my breasts and allowing them to live life freely when this craziness is over.

This week I am planning to just breakdown and purchase a bra! Some may be asking, “Why have I not done that sooner?”  And I would have to say that there is a part of me that absolutely hates giving more to this system than I absolutely have to give and honestly I am just plain stubborn.  Now that my time at the camp is nearing an end, I believe that it is important to transition all of me and that includes purchasing an over-priced bra so that I can bid farewell to my UNI-BOOB!   This has been a long, hard and often absurd journey and I am thankful that it is nearly over.  To anyone who is unfortunately about to enter the Federal Prison Camp setting, I am advising you to purchase a white, sports bra and wear it as you self surrender.  You may be able to keep it depending on the officer and the Camp.

The journey continues……………………………………………felonious phd. 5/2015

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Paper Roses, Microwave Chocolates and Kool-Aid…………Valentines Day in Prison Camp

Yesterday was the nationally designated day of LOVE. Well needless to say, as I sit here at the Federal Prison Camp, it was a bit of a challenge for me to truly embrace the full meaning of the day. Also, I am not one who feels that one day is sufficient to tell those who are tethered to you that they are loved, to me that is a daily necessity.

The incredible thing about being around 100-plus women in a small area at this time is that I am afforded the opportunity to witness how truly incredible and resilient the woman spirit is no matter what the circumstances are at any given moment. Throughout the unit you could find small gatherings of women either making a variety of microwave chocolates, various colored paper roses or beautifully hand crafted Valentine cards to celebrate the day.

Being that we are in prison or let me clarify the prison camp, everyday is about us being subjected to deprivation, disenfranchisement and isolation from those we love, instead of enjoying our sweet treats with a nice crisp, fruity smelling wine, we are privy to partake in a nice cold plastic filled container of grape kool-aid. Yes, I said grape kool-aid and I have a big smile on my face! Life is good!(lol).

This is a period in my life that I will never ever forget. And I will always remind myself how important it is to love myself and tell others that they should practice self- love too. I will also remain cognizant of how incredibly creative, strong and powerful the woman spirit is no matter what is going on in my life. Being here I am forced to rely on my own strength and sense of self to wake up peaceful, sane and loving.

If you happen on this space and you are enduring a life-changing experience, are alone, isolated and feeling down, I am encouraging you to go buy yourself some Grape Kool-Aid and love on yourself. That is my plan for the day. I am thankful as always that, “I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any and every given moment”.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!

Felonious PhD. 2/2015

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It’s That Time Again…….Holiday Season at the Camp

As I progress through my second Christmas being incarcerated here at the Federal Prison Camp in Victorville California, I find myself moving through this holiday a bit easier than my first one. Knowing that this is my last Christmas here (if I am released on time!), I am not particularly concerned about Christmas per se. Yes,  it is definitely apparent that it is Christmas here at the camp. The dining hall is decorated thoroughly with white shimmery snowflakes that spin while hanging from the ceiling. The windows are covered with several red and green traditional Christmas decorations, and the menu bulletin boards are now entertaining us with holiday colors and reminders. There is even an artificial tree in the window that  the women decorated beautifully. The unit (aka warehouse) where we live is also representing the holiday spirit. The ceremonial 3 foot crocheted Christmas tree has finally made its appearance as it did last year. It still remains spectacular  to those women who are new and can not believe someone took the time the crotchet a tree.

After being here for 14 months I have noticed that Christmas time seems to be the hardest for the women emotionally. It really is the time of the year that is focused on family. Typically we women, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and sisters are at the center of all of the festivities and activities. So during this period the feelings of isolation and loneliness are heightened and are all too familiar to me. It is a vivid reminder of how all of my foster kids used to feel no matter how long they had been separated from their families. Unlike my agency, the Government does not see fit to address the emotional stress these times of the year place on an individual, so it is pretty much left up to the women to support, encourage and remind each other that this too shall pass. Most of the women here are truly phenomenal women existing under extraordinarily unordinary circumstances and so are our families.

I have always been a bit of a Scrooge and begrudgingly participated in the stress and angst of the season. I mainly enjoy the time spent with family and friends. I miss my kids and having my grandkids, nieces and nephews running through the house. I miss the “NOISE”. The noise of laughter and joy and everyone talking at the same time, whew!!!! I MISS MY LIFE! My family, friends and I have laughed and laughed through the worst of times. I have lots for us to laugh about when I return home.

The holiday season here at the Federal Prison Camp in Victorville California is truly just another day for me. It is not horrible or without any form of internal Joy. There are parties, some incredible microwave treats and food, games and even some laughter if you need some.

I continue to marvel at the absurdity of my current life of incarceration, (LOL) but I am thankful that the holiday season is here and I am closer to returning home. I am thankful that my son is happy, safe and loved. I miss him but will be home to him soon.

Happy Holidays to all of my Peeps!!! Love Each Other!!!!!

 

Felonious PhD 12/2014

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