The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

Diary of an imprisoned soul Part 12…………..My free Thanksgiving.

I don’t think the word ‘happy’ fully captures my current way of being. Being able to return home after two years and be welcomed by my friends and family was a moment I can not quite put into words. It felt like a dream. Like the many dreams I would have as I laid on the bottom bunk wishing I was home. Once again I have to say I am thankful. So many things in my life are uncertain and just plain complicated by this process but being loved and loving my friends and family makes it all okay. At Least for the moment.
Now as I sit in the halfway house back amongst the mice and roaches, lol. I could feel a piece of me becoming lonely and wishing this will hurry up and end. Nothing like wishing your time on earth away. Losing your freedom is truly a mind game and if you want to leave this space healthy in all areas of your life you have to force yourself to remain present. My visit was incredible I was reminded by my peeps that I love people. I love the conversations, the laughter, the joy and I love hearing their stories, the good ones as well as the not so good ones. I love my life which causes me to laugh a lot because of my current status but it is the truth.
I was also fortunate enough to spend some time with my son who did not skip a beat with his daily routine of playing call of duty. Life truly goes on that is a real good lesson for me. More importantly he is doing well and that has always been my number one concern.
Now I will prepare for Christmas and once again I will ask for a furlough to go home. This process of being in the middle of middle is very hard but I am grateful that I am able to re enter my life at any capacity considering how crazy this system tends to operate.
Seeing many of my foster boys who are all grown up with beards, families, careers and their own trials and tribulations was life changing. I know now that it does not matter what the judge, prosecutor or IRS agents believed, the fact is I love my kids and they know it.
The next phase of my journey is going to be very challenging and emotional. I fully feel like a blank slate and have so many ideas but no firm foundation. I mean I currently don’t even have a home lol. But knowing that no matter what I have support and Aaron is happy, I will fearlessly overcome any barriers that come my way. As always I am glad I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any given moment. Life is good. Peace

The journey continues……………….feloniousphd 11/2015

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