The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

Thoughts on Re-entry and Recidivism…A mothers nightmare/dream.  

on September 15, 2016

A year from now things will be different, as I sat in the Federal Prison Camp in Victorville, California, those are the words I would repeat to myself.  For two years I was absent from my son’s birthday celebration. Nothing hurt more, than being a childless mother, who had no control or ability to actively participate in sharing those moments with her child. I know I will never get those moment back and have resolved myself to that fact.

Today, I am here! It brings tears to my eyes and I can’t quite explain how difficult it is for actively participating mother’s to be separated from their children, especially when there are so many other options for our system to utilize to punish, non-violent, low level offenders. Recently, there were several  cases in Reno, Nevada, that were similar to mine, and those individuals received restitution and probation. Initially, I was angry , because I could not understand “why?!” it was so imperative for me to “do time” away from my son.   I attempted to explain to the judge, that I was a single parent, the main provider and this would be devastating for not just him, but many that were tethered to me. I tried to plea to the court that this goes way past the narrative of “do the crime, and do the time” and that with a system that has so many options, why put me in prison?! Who does that benefit? That day at court I took the judge’s choice to separate me from my son, family and community, personal.  Until I stepped foot on the camp and became a witness and realized that, in fact it was not personal at all.  The process is systemically driven and operates as  a machine. There were many mothers and grandmothers trapped in this non forgiving and visceral process. So I reminded myself of that plea I made to the judge in my letter to the court and empowered myself,  to be thankful for those other individuals, who did not have to go to prison over technicality and ridiculousness.

I don’t pretend to have the answers to this incredibly dehumanizing process but, I continue to have many question. I am extremely happy to be home for my son’s birthday, for two years as I laid in the bottom bunk, at the prison camp, I dreamt about this moment. And as this nightmare slowly dissipates from the soulful part of my consciousness, I can’t help but think of those loving moms, I left behind and their children. I will continue to seek answers and speak my truth in regards to the Criminal Justice process and the emotional, spiritual, personal and financial ramifications it has on me.

Life is good, that is for sure. Nothing can take my joy or impact my soul. I am thankful my son, is resilient, like me. Happy Birthday Son, Mom loves you. Peace.
A new journey begins ………….the feloniousphd 9/15/16

One response to “Thoughts on Re-entry and Recidivism…A mothers nightmare/dream.  

  1. I think the evidence is pretty clear that the phony war on drugs (designed to facilitate CIA drug trafficking) is responsible for the current high prison rates for both men and women – and ending the war on drugs will correct the problem.

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