The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

A BRAND NEW ME……..Happy New Year 2016 is finally here! 

on January 5, 2016

     I have anxiously waited for the year 2016 to come. Not only because I will officially be free from the clutches of the Bureau of Prisons on March 5 2016, but also because I promised myself that In 2016 no matter what was going on in my life, I was going to re-commit myself to LOVE. To fully loving and embracing life and all that it has to offer.  

     I know that sounds strange to many who are tethered to me because I have and always will operate from a place of love. But my recommitment is a personal one, a conscious promise to myself. One that will transform my experience within the Federal Criminal Justice system and provide me with the will to dig deeper inside myself and heal. And I mean fully heal from the past six years. By doing so my goal is to internally and externally rise like the Phoenix not just professionally, personally or financially but spiritually as well. I am working on being a BRAND NEW ME. Not a changed me but a New me and that is exciting.   

     I have no idea what is ahead of me but at the same time I know I have the capacity, skills, passion and the drive to create a wonderful and loving next for myself. I have always been a winner and even in my losses I have found a way to win. My indictment and incarceration has forced me to let go of my old professional dreams, personal belongings and aspirations. It has also freed me from the worries I carried in regards to the State of the World or Universe and all that it encompasses. This experience has reminded me that I must start with me. Now I can allow myself to simply live life fearlessly and with love. For that I am thankful.

     There are many women, like myself, who are entering this dreadful system and I truly want them to know that they will get through it. All they have to do is make a commitment to self preservation and use the 5 P’s. That’s what got me through and continues to guide me as I began my exit from the incarcerated phase of this Criminal Justice Process. You must know and remind yourself daily that you have PURPOSE and no one or no system can dictate that for you. You also have to know that you still can dream of POSSIBILITIES for yourself. In the darkest and loneliest moments are when those possibilities become clear. Along with that you have to focus on PASSION and love to keep you human and sane and fight to keep your heart soft. Also be committed to using all of your PERSEVERANCE to sustain yourself through it all. And no matter what anyone says or does continue to PLAN for a better day. Even when the clock seems to move slowly and the days are long, you must continue to look towards tomorrow as you are inhabiting your today. 

     This is my year, I am claiming it and every year hereafter. Once again I am thankful and grateful that I was born and raised to be who and where I am at any given moment. This process has not been easy and next is going to be a challenge also. but I am prepared to do me.  

Happy New Year! Peace. 
The journey continues………….January 2016

2 responses to “A BRAND NEW ME……..Happy New Year 2016 is finally here! 

  1. SonniQ says:

    I am truly happy for you and that you will be able to start your life anew. It’s like a rebirth. One thing for sure is that you will be seeing your life – and that of others through a different set of lenses. I haven’t been able to get back to read your blog the way i wanted to. Sometimes my brain gets so swamped. I’ve been working on the book I am writing about Jamie. As I am not an author per se – writing a book is a whole lot different than writing a blog, it has been quite a learning process. I want him to have a successful life when he gets out. I can see how those people who spend too much time inside that living outside is alien to them. It will like getting out and being a child when it comes to have wisdom and faith in yourself. Thank goodness you have a wonderful support group waiting for you. I wanted to thank you for coming to his blog.

    • Hi. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Yes it takes a lot of energy and honestly my incarceration was short and in a camp which for me emotionally was hard but physically pretty easy. I am currently in a halfway house and I am witnessing first hand how many of the imprisoned souls who have spent most of their lives behind bars have a hard time adjusting. What helps most is support and patience a and the ability to operate beyond resilience. It is truly horrific to me what our system does to people. And on the other tha D I am completely amazed at the spirit of the people who have lived the majority of their lives incarcerated and they get out humble and peaceful. It has been an incredible journey for sure. Good luck and let me know how things goes. Peace.

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