The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

The Unplanned Journey PT. 13……………… A whole TWO years!!!!!  

on October 14, 2015

Today marks my second year of being incarcerated within the Federal Criminal Justice System. The promising part about my current status is that being in the halfway house and living a partially free life has provided me with an opportunity to slowly reintegrate myself into my sons life. For that I am and will be forever grateful. I have experienced so many different emotional and spiritual ebbs and flows, as I consistently seek out mindful ways to consciously maneuver through the challenging Federal Criminal Justice process. As I operate in the middle of freedom, I continue to witness that this process is more about money between the systems, then one that serves as a catalyst to assist those off us who were incarcerated with integrating into their communities and their families lives. No matter how much I have grown used to its dysfunction I continue to be mystified and astonished by our American Criminal Justice system and its lack of productivity, planning and evidence based accountability. Once again I ask. “Is this real life?” I also began to understand who is really committing fraud and breaking the laws of man, that are created to justify holding some of us accountable.      As I rode off of the Victorville Camp on September 8th 2015, I took a moment and I breathed a deep deep breath. No matter where I was headed I felt so incredibly relieved to drive away from there. I felt so excited to have that part behind me. I do and will always carry the women with me that remained legally trapped within the process for years and years. Many non violent, low level, aging women mothers sisters daughters and friends. This process is forever imprinted on my soul. It has not and it will not define me but it has deeply touched me for sure that I can not deny                                                   

Now as I am attempting to operate in the middle in the halfway house, I have found that it is essential that I take a moment and be mindful of the fact that I have endured a traumatic experience, no matter how normal other free citizens want to make this process, I know that it is more harmful than good for certain individuals, families and communities. So no matter how much I would rather look for those wonderful rainbows and reach for the butterflies I must consciously and authentically speak my truth. This shit is painful unlike no other at times. Mainly because it truly serves little to no purpose and as I sit in a mice and roach infested building and continue to progress mindfully through this criminal justice process I have to continue to fight for my own happy and peace. It is truly a system that has lost its way and clearly lost its purpose if there ever was one to begin with.

 I tell myself that I must be thankful for one , I am halfway free and second that I did not get years and years like many of the other women I have met in the camp. I will always be mindful of that fact but at the same time I have to ask what is the point? Why incarcerate non violent, low level, women, mothers, sisters and daughters. Other than for money there truly is no point to over criminalization and mass incarceration. It is all about the money not ethics or principles. Now as I am re-entering and trying to find a balance in my life I am first forced to find employment. Any form of employment so that I can pay the halfway house 25 percent of my earnings from my GROSS Pay. Lol. I will talk about this process more in the future. So I am criminalizes and separated from my career and then told to go find a job. It really is absurd when you think about it and from my minimum wage job I am supposed to secure housing, pay my fines, pay restitution and pay 25 percent. What a complete set up for failure. I completely understand recidivism. That is all I have to say.  

I Am and will forever be FREE! Nothing or no one will ever be able to Imprison my soul or heart ever again. These last two years of incarceration and five year ordeal has shown me that I have the ability to operate far Beyond Resilient and continue to seek the peaceful and loving life I have always worked towards. Life is good. It is not easy but it is worth living. Peace.  

The journey continues……………………..feloniousphd 10/2015 

Advertisements

6 responses to “The Unplanned Journey PT. 13……………… A whole TWO years!!!!!  

  1. Meg Sanders says:

    Cassandra Little! You have an incredible gift of expression. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to manage all of your thoughts and feelings about this experience. But, I do know that continuing to speak your truth is a good thing! Love ya sister!

  2. Thankful reader says:

    When will you be done at the half way house and able to return home to your son?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: