The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

HAPPY THANKSGIVING………. FROM PRISON CAMP

on November 27, 2014

Yes, even as I sit here imprisoned in the Victorville Federal Prison Camp for Thanksgiving, I remain thankful and grateful for many things.

First, I am thankful that I allowed myself the opportunity to move past the darkest, saddest, most life altering period in my life. As someone who mindfully contemplated taking her own life, I am thankful that I chose to endure the PAIN, SHAME, PERSECUTION, DEGRADATION, SLANDER, SHUNNING, ISOLATION, CAREER ENDING, PROFESSIONAL LICENSE SUSPENDING, AGENCY CLOSURE, FORECLOSURE, FEDERAL AGENT RAID ON OFFICE, FINANCIAL RUIN, RELATIONSHIPS ENDING, INVESTIGATION, INDICTMENT, INCARCERATION, GOVERNMENT OVERREACH WHEW!!!! and many more life changing experiences that have occurred through this process, to remain the hopeful, loving, authentic, proud, peaceful, beautiful woman that I have always been. Whew! It has not been easy!!!!

To anyone who happens onto this space and finds themselves in the midst of a Federal Criminal Investigation, Indictment, incarceration or any other life changing situation, I want to emphatically say, “HOLD ON”. I know for a fact that it is difficult to move through the dark and heavy cloud of the Judicial system that is seeking to destroy everything wholesome and pure about you without losing purpose and meaning in your life. I know how it feels to want to give in because the process has stripped and enslaved you emotionally, mentally and spiritually and you are left feeling helpless and alone. I will say again , I know and please, “HOLD ON”. I am thankful that I was able to move past the heavy, brutal dark clouds to the foggy space that allowed me to breathe and now towards complete clarity. Once you get to this phase, and you are here at the camp (which is safe), you will begin to completely understand that this US Federal Investigation, Indictment and incarceration over the White Collar Crime and obscure, convoluted laws had little to do with you personally. You also become conscious of how the Criminal Justice system you have bought into your entire life as a law abiding United States of America Citizen is completely ridiculous, and you are not crazy. I am so very thankful that I now know that my true purpose in life is ME!

I am thankful that my teenage son is safe, happy and loved. My 27 year career in Child Welfare was centered around assuring youth in foster care that as long as they had a community of people who cared for them, they have value and are loved. It does not matter what has happened in their lives, they could and would overcome any and every barrier to become and do whatever they dreamed for themselves. I am thankful that I was right, because my son has a wonderful community of people who care for him, a great sense of self, and he knows he is loved. That makes this part of my journey so much easier to endure.

I am equally thankful that I have a “PERSON.” For those of you who do not watch Grey’s Anatomy on television, a “PERSON” is defined as someone who is there for you through the good, bad, and the ugly. To many people that “PERSON” may be a therapist, counselor, or a life coach. If you are currently going through a Federal Investigation, Indictment, pending incarceration or any form or major life changing crisis I highly recommend that your “PERSON” does not consist of your family, significant other or anyone who is also impacted by your crisis. Because I can guarantee you that they too need their own “PERSON”. So I am very thankful for my “PERSON” for assisting me with moving through this process mindfully whole, and sane.

I am thankful that I have a target discharge date of November 27, 2015. I am thankful because even though I will still have to endure 12 to 13 more months in this Federal Prison Camp, there are many non-violent, 1st time low-level offenders, mothers, grandmothers, ill, handicapped, and elderly women who are incarcerated for 7, 15, even 25 years. So hell yes! I am thankful. This system has no compassion or intellect. It operates purely on an archaic slave mentality and your only true means to being physically free of it is your DATE. For a soulful woman like me, it is essential that I remain thankful and cognizant of those other women around me who are forced to endure such long, thoughtless, non-productive sentences.

Finally, I am thankful that eventually I will be spending Thanksgiving with my son and family. Until then I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to my Peeps and Eat lots of good food for me!!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING-2014

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2 responses to “HAPPY THANKSGIVING………. FROM PRISON CAMP

  1. Anonymous says:

    Dr. Little. Thank you for your post. I have been following your journey from the beginning of your blog. I have found it extremely helpful. I was never indicted or arrested but pled guilty to a count of wire fraud. My sentencing was originally set for early Dec., but it has now been changed to March. I am very sure that I will be receiving federal camp time. In fact, my hope is to be placed at Victorville which would allow family to visit me a few times per year. I know that placement is out of my control, but I remain hopeful. I think the reason I am at peace with knowing I will be incarcerated is the fact that you have said the women have been helpful and that the camp is safe. That is the least of my worries on this journey. Thank you for being honest, frank and most of all helpful. I appreciate your candor. Please keep up the posts as these do make an impact.

  2. Kim Campbell-Lax says:

    You are never forgotten……Campbell, Lax and Fox Family…We love you!

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