The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

Today is a Tough Day….I am Going With It…..

on June 26, 2014

As the endless month goes by, I have occasionally awakened in a mindset that puts me in intense, extreme and complete opposition to everything that is going on here.  The past few nights I have experienced dreams in regards to being in Reno, Nevada and being watched by the Feds.  Whenever I begin my morning with the absurdity of my reality and it seeps deeply in, even into my subconscious, I have a difficult time shaking it off and mindfully redirecting my thoughts.

Today my 2 mile walk was, once again, fueled by my inability to be available for my son.  I am taking the tragedy of being an absent parent seriously and will forever remind all…..this is a fundamentally UN American act and I feel like a terrorist who has been banished to Git-mo. ….except I have not harmed ANYONE.  So, needless to say, I am beyond dramatic and feel so incontrovertibly abused by the system because I am separated from my number one responsibility in the world….my son.

As the Government is politically posturing and advocating for keeping immigrant families together, they are on the other hand destroying my American family. And nobody, absolutely nobody, discusses, boycotts, videotapes or reports about our white-collar, non-violent, spotless backgrounded, mothers’ plight.  My American family is facing a tragedy also.  I feel for all kids who are without their mom.  Today as I sit subjugated in this soulless, paternalistic, irreverent environment, my heart cries out to my own son.  I love you Sonny!  This will all be over eventually.

I am thankful that my son has a foundation of love and is a big, loving, caring soul.  I am also eternally grateful that he has other caring family members to reassure him, guide him, love him, provide for him, nurture him, and reassure him that he will be okay and this too shall pass!

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One response to “Today is a Tough Day….I am Going With It…..

  1. Antoinette Sanchez says:

    Hello, I stumbled across your writings and teared up as I read. I am also a first time offender, non violent, and will be turning myself in, sometime in January. I am grateful to have found this page. You inspire me, I hope by the grace of God that I’ll make it to Victorville, so that I can meet you. I need an uplifting word here and there. I have one, daughter 9, and one son 5, what hurts the most about me having to go to prison is leaving them. There father in at a CDCR Camp, so both parents absent until released. My mom will be taking care of them, but I’m still hurting every day. I haven’t left and my heart misses them already. Hope you find this little note in good standing. Thank you for your strength. 🙂

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