The Felonious PhD.

White Collar Female PhD. Felon, Prison Camp, Re-Entry, Criminal Justice Reform. Women, Lesbian

A Very Private Party…..

on April 20, 2014

Happy Birthday to me I am 50!!!

I woke up wishing that this entire process was just a long, horrible, and often humorous dream. There is no way in the world I am laying here in a shell of a warehouse with a steel ceiling with steel beams and humongous bolts showing through. The huge piping for air and heat readily exposed and running from one end of the barren ceiling to the other side. And the shiniest concrete floors ever. Looking over I examined the many light fixtures that covered the building and was hanging down by industrial wire that is strategically place in each of the four rectangular corners. This is so surreal!!! Is this real life?!! (lol) really I am laughing it is funny. I thought to myself this birthday revelation is so surreal I can not even cry, as I lay silently on my top bunk ( lord help me!) covered up with a thin regulation tan blanket, at least it is not green, hahaha! On top of the thin blanket that the Officers are always patrolling to make sure we do not have more than 2 or they will quickly confiscate them. Truly this life is a movie and I mean a sitcom not a drama. I luckily have a bunkie who is an awesome crotchetier and she made me a personalized blanket that says (“Little”) at the end so no one will steal it, so I am good. (Thanks bunkie).

I decided that I am going to keep this day to myself. To share alone with me, myself and I. It truly gives a new prolific meaning to “private party”, one of my favorite songs from Indie.Arie, as I sang it in my head I quickly flashed to myself in the house alone singing as loud as I can and jamming that song. I miss home! Then I thought about how this is a milestone birthday and typically I would have some sort of gathering that would include music, laughter, friends, family and lots of wine and some good food. Whew! I miss real food. Just as I was about to lose my, I can do this day alone by myself without being depressed attitude, I reminded myself that I will have many more birthdays. Also, I truly felt and looked damn good for a 50 year old woman in prison, sleeping on a bunk bed, in a warehouse with over 160 women, wearing some ugly men clothes and wearing crocs (yes, croccs, ugh!! I never!) lol.

So today on my 50th birthday I am going to celebrate me for me and be thankful that I am still here, somewhat sane and cute as ever! Happy Birthday to me! I am good!!!! Peeps I love you all………..

8 responses to “A Very Private Party…..

  1. DB says:

    Happy 50th born day!!!! We will celebrate it today along with B twice a born day!!

  2. Coach says:

    I know it is hard to make it a happy birthday . However, just know you are loved have a lot of people who care about you.
    Coach & Pat

  3. Lucretia Haymer says:

    Happy Birthday sis,
    its never to late to celebrate ur 50th day with family and friends. When u come home this one is on me!!!!!!


  4. Carlnel says:

    Did you enjoy this day no matter what! Make it special. Miss you so much.. Doing well we had my tournament in sac and won it! 3-0 girls played really well. We will be tough… Love ya Sissy…. ❤️🏀 happy birthday to you!!! And many more…

  5. Simeon says:

    Happy Birthday I enjoy your blog I’m 37 and I’m awaiting sentencing for mail fraud the DA offered 36 mos in his plea.
    I’m often times nervous and anxious and very terrified to go to prison,never been and extremely sad to be without my children! Thanks for your blog it really helps me in some strange way!


  6. Wendy Charlebois says:

    Happy Birthday friend. I think of you often and have a story to share with you if there is a private way to share it. I would love to “talk” with you you about women who have the label “felon” attached to their person.

    Stay strong on the day of your 50th and always.


    Wendy Charlebois

  7. Cassandra Dimery says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY cousin I love and miss you. You are an amazing Woman. Many Blessing to you.

  8. Kim Campbell-Lax says:

    Happy Birthday Sandy!

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